by An Orphan Crowned
“What can I do for you, what can I bring for you;
What kind of song would you like me to sing?
‘Cause I’ll dance a dance for you, pour out my love for you;
What can I do for you, beautiful king?”
Jenn Johnson, A Little Longer
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After the way she rejected him, she never expected to see the Man again after that night at the ball. Days turned into weeks, and her mask seemed heavier than ever. She was slipping and she knew it, but the worst part wasn't that she was hurting more than ever; the worst part was that no one realized that.
She had certainly tried to clean up her act. She was now taking lessons again to learn to dance better. She was unconsciously hoping that someday, she could see the unmasked Man again and actually be prepared to dance with him. She had stopped entertaining the handsome men who came to call, and no longer cared for the Friday evening dances, for the talk with the other revelers now felt hollow.
She had unthinkingly decided that once she had perfected herself, she would be free to take her mask off. Still, perfection seemed farther away with each new morning.
One September evening, the girl slipped her gloves on as she walked into the all too familiar ballroom. She wished that she wasn't expected to keep company with the other guests. It’s all so dreary, all of the conversations, the girl mused. She was actually looking forward to the dancing tonight, for she had learned several new steps in her lessons and was ready to show them off.
The ballroom was elegantly decorated, though some might say that it was furnished slightly too much. The girl placed her dance card on the table that had been set out for the men to choose their dances for the evening. After cautiously mingling with the other invited guests for the first hour, the girl headed to pick up her dance card and to find her first partner. The initial two slots were taken by Fear and Pride. She stood next to Fear during the host’s welcome, rehearsing her steps in her head. Fear was a short, wiry man, with a handsome mask covering his entire face. She had found, in the past, that his dancing was halting and unrehearsed. Hopefully he won’t make a fool out of me tonight, she said to herself.
The music began. She and Fear began to sway in time. Suddenly, she felt as if every eye was on her and her partner as she tried to complete her new steps. She missed her turn, and because Fear didn't pull her back quickly enough, she was jostled by the other couples nearby. “Watch it!” Fear hissed. The girl’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment and she dutifully stepped back into her place. This is certainly not the greatest start to my night, she sighed.
That dance couldn't have been over soon enough. Next she met Pride, one of the few men who still even slightly caught her interest when he came to call. A tall, confident gentleman with a tasteful black mask, Pride was very noble and treated the girl with respect. He was very complimentary of her appearance, and she was able to finish her sequence beautifully during their dance together.
“Well done, madam!” Pride exclaimed as they moved together elegantly. “Your footwork is exquisite!” The young lady felt light-hearted and felt as if she truly might be getting closer to that perfection she had been reaching for. She curtsied gleefully when the dance was over and glanced at the names further down her card.
Truth, Hope, and Love, the next three words read. The girl had never met these men before. She slid the card into her pocket and looked up into the deep, unwavering eyes of the Unmasked Man. “You!” She exclaimed, startled. “Why are you here again?” What is he doing here? I’m not perfect yet! Her mind screamed.
The Man smiled graciously. “I believe I have a commitment to dance with you. In fact, I think I have your next three dances.” The girl then realized that this was her next partner. She knew that he was unfalteringly truthful, always hopeful, and eternally loving. Even so, her thoughts still quietly spoke pride into her. Perhaps he will be impressed with how far I've made it… She slowly took his hands and waited for the music.
The tempo was perfect for the new steps she had learned. As Truth, the Man was a confident lead and partner. Unfortunately, he was too good. The girl could not keep up with him and all of her training seemed to fail her as she stumbled. She tried to hide her bruised conscience, substituted her failed steps with quick strides, and attempted to keep up with Truth. It was certainly her poorest performance that evening. Why could she never seem to get it right? First, I rejected his offer to dance, and now, when I thought that I was ready, I can't even complete a basic turn with him!
“Remember what I told you?” Truth questioned, seeing her deflated expression. “You aren't worthy, and that doesn't matter. But you have also tried to make yourself worthy, which matters to me no more than your unworthiness. That’s the Truth, plain and simple. You can never dance beautifully, or take your mask off on your own account. Does this make sense?” The girl nodded sorrowfully as she realized she had missed the point.
“Don’t worry, dear.” The Man whispered as a tear slid down the girl’s face. “There’s still Hope.”
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I worked on my sin. I wanted to clean up the mess I had made of my life. I wanted to do something that would make God proud. I never realized that I can't make God proud. I did church stuff my whole life and did good things! I tried to follow all of the rules, and I prided myself on the ones I could keep. I really wanted to do big things for God, but I still wasn't quite willing to give up my mask and just rest in God’s love. Sadly, I didn’t easily learn that neither my words nor my works could help me in the end. Then, I finally found Hope.
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