by An Orphan Crowned
“How
did you know that I’m all alone today?
Oh,
I feel so scared, and I want to go away
I
bleed so deep underneath; my soul is screaming.”
-Natalie
Grant, Safe
*****************************
(Continued from “Plastic
Masquerade”)
The mask was there to
stay. It was truly over. She would never get out. Or would she?
The Man knelt down next to
the girl. She could hardly see Greed slinking back into the crowd through her
mask and the tokens and the tears. Who
is this Man? Is all of this real? I need to get away from here. The thoughts swirled around her like a
hurricane as she tried to stand.
“Plastic...” The word just wouldn’t leave her
alone. She slowly pulled herself together and stood up in front of the unmasked
Man. Next to him, every impurity was fully realized. She could see all of the
false beauty in herself. Nothing good existed in her. No wonder she felt like a
manufactured person. She was just a name with an ordinary, perhaps ugly, face.
She had no story to tell, no soul to be saved. Plastic with a mask on top of it
all; that’s what she was. But though this Man made her feel so dirty, she also
felt empowered from his gaze. She sensed the command he held over the entire
room, and every eye was on him as he stretched his hand out… to her? “Would you
like to dance?” He asked.
His words reached the
depths of her soul and ripped it in two. His voice seemed to shake the room
like an earthquake and stop her heart in the same instant. It was powerful, yet
so gentle. She felt safe, yet vulnerable at the very same time. The girl
desperately wanted to dance with him, but she knew he was more than just a good
dancer. He must certainly be the creator of The First Dance at the beginning of
time. He knew the language of this dance better than any other; he was so
acquainted with it that it was engrained into his very being. There was no way
she could accept this offer!
She closed her eyes and
swallowed the anguish that threatened to choke her. She was lost in her silent
misery for a moment before realizing that the Man still stood before her,
offering his hand. “I… I cannot, sir.” She stuttered, her heart crumbling
inside and tears filling her eyes.
“You think you aren’t
worthy.” The Man stated. She couldn’t make her eyes meet his, for intense love
poured from them. She nodded despairingly. “That doesn’t matter. Would you like
to dance with me?” She started. All
I’ve done wrong; and it doesn’t matter? How could that not matter??
As if the Man could read
her thoughts, he announced to the crowd, “It doesn’t matter that you aren’t
worthy, my friends. Let me tell you why.” The crowd grumbled, but they began to
organize themselves in order to hear what this strange Man had to say.
The Man’s voice echoed
powerfully through the dance hall as he told his tale. “I created the Dance. I
called it beautiful, because it is a part of my nature, given its own life.
Mankind has twisted the Dance into a masquerade of good intentions, and it grieves
me greatly. I cannot be a partner for a mask wearer, because the order of the
Dance would ultimately kill them. I sent my Son into the masquerade to free
many from their masks. He took many of these coverings off of other people,
leading the mask-makers to hate him, and me. They killed him.” At this, the Man’s
face fell and the girl glimpsed a solitary tear run down his cheek. What an ending, the girl thought sadly. Why was he
telling them a story like this?
“But it doesn’t end
there.” The Man looked up. “My Son pleased me. He followed all of the orders of
the Dance, and he embodied it completely. Where once I couldn’t be in your
company because of your masks, you now can be a beautiful part of my Dance. And
my Son, well, he defeated death. He lives today!” The Man opened his arms wide,
gesturing to the people. “My Son died to free you from your mask. Trust in me
and it will fall from your face.”
The girl, standing near
the Man, felt the heavy tokens on her mask, their allure completely dissipated.
She pulled them off and flung them to the floor until only the metal frame
remained. Suddenly, horror struck the girl as she fingered the edges of the covering. It
couldn’t come off the last time I tried; how would it be different now? Is it
very painful? Do I really want to take the mask off all of the way? Her hands dropped to her side, leaving
the mask on her face. Perhaps
being a little cautious isn’t that bad. I don’t even know this Man!
Why should I do what he says? The girl tried to justify her thoughts,
but she knew what he said was the truth.
A sad smile rested on the
Man’s face as he turned to her, and watched her struggle with her conflicted feelings.
“My Son didn’t die so that I could tolerate your mask forever. Can I take it
now?”
The girl frowned. “Let me
just have it, just a little longer. I don’t know life without
it." She was amazed at her own boldness and disgusted at the
question that came out of her mouth. “Is it not good that I am rid of all
of these other tokens?”
The Man didn’t look very
surprised. “These tokens don’t matter to me. It will hurt when the mask comes
off, but you are also free to choose to keep it. After all, you are not fooling
me. Would you like to dance?”
The question stung this
time. How she wanted to dance with the Man! But she had to work on her
attitude, she could tell. She was disrespecting his offer immensely, and he
surely didn’t actually want to dance with someone like her. “Perhaps later. Thank you
for your offer, sir.” She curtsied and turned away from the perfect Man, trying
to mend her heart as it began to shatter entirely.
*****************************
I spent a LOT of my life
refusing to give God control. Like the girl in this story, I encountered God
and his rules before I accepted his gift of salvation. Though I knew a lot of
things were wrong in my life, I didn’t follow his commands. When I got to the
actual point where I was free to take my mask off, I was snared by fear and
tried to hold tight to the familiar. I didn’t believe that God could change my
life at all, because this
sin and these masks weren’t going away. This led me to spend countless nights
feeling hopeless, even though I could have been saved from a lot of heartache
if I had learned the concept of Grace a little sooner. Unfortunately, I had to
learn it the hard way.
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